How to Manage Overcoming Anticipatory Anxiety: Therapist-Approved Strategies

By Yana Shenker, LCSW-R
Founder, Resilient Mind Psychotherapy

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We’ve all experienced it at some point — the racing thoughts before a big presentation, the restless night before a doctor’s appointment, or the nervous jitters leading up to an important life change. This feeling, known as anticipatory anxiety, is the stress we feel in advance of something that hasn’t yet happened.

For many adults, anticipatory anxiety is tied to work, health, or relationships. But it also shows up in children — especially around transitions like starting school. At Resilient Mind Psychotherapy in Brooklyn, we often see parents bring in kids struggling with back-to-school anxiety, which is a prime example of anticipatory anxiety in action.

The good news? Anticipatory anxiety is manageable. With the right strategies, both adults and children can learn to navigate these feelings and build lasting coping skills.

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What Is Anticipatory Anxiety?

Anticipatory anxiety is a type of worry about future events — the “what ifs” that spiral before something even happens. Unlike generalized anxiety, which can feel constant, anticipatory anxiety often spikes before a specific situation.

Common signs include:

• Restlessness or irritability

• Trouble sleeping

• Stomachaches, headaches, or muscle tension

• Repeated “what if” questions

• Difficulty concentrating on the present

For children, this can look like refusing to go to school, clinging to parents, or physical complaints like stomach pain right before class.

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Why It Matters in Kids: Back-to-School Stress

As summer ends, many children feel nervous about walking into a new classroom. Questions like “Will I make friends?”, “What if my teacher doesn’t like me?”, or “What if I get lost?” are classic anticipatory anxieties.

These worries don’t just affect mood — they can also impact sleep, appetite, and school attendance. Left unchecked, they may grow into long-term school refusal or ongoing anxiety patterns. That’s why early support is essential.

At Resilient Mind Psychotherapy, we provide child therapy in Brooklyn to help families manage these transitions. Our approach combines cognitive-behavioral techniques, play therapy, and parent guidance to give children both emotional tools and practical coping skills.

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Therapist-Approved Strategies for Managing Anticipatory Anxiety

While professional support can make a big difference, there are many strategies you can start using today:

1. Name It to Tame It

Encourage yourself or your child to label the feeling: “This is anticipatory anxiety.” Naming the emotion takes away some of its power and opens the door for problem-solving.

2. Break Down the “What Ifs”

Anxiety thrives in the unknown. Write down the worry (e.g., “What if I don’t know anyone in class?”) and brainstorm practical responses (“I can sit with a new classmate,” “I can ask the teacher for help”). This shifts the brain from panic to problem-solving.

3. Practice Relaxation Skills Ahead of Time

Deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, or guided imagery can calm the body before the stressful event. For kids, simple “belly breathing” with a stuffed animal on their stomach can make the practice engaging.

4. Visualize Success

Instead of focusing on what could go wrong, picture what going right looks like. Adults might imagine a confident presentation; children might picture walking into school and finding a friendly classmate. Visualization helps reframe expectations.

5. Create Predictable Routines

For children, consistency reduces stress. Start school-year routines — earlier bedtimes, morning structure — at least a week in advance. This reduces the shock of change and gives them a sense of control.

6. Use Gradual Exposure

If possible, practice small steps toward the event. For back-to-school, that could mean visiting the classroom early or walking past the school together. For adults, it might be role-playing a conversation before a big meeting.

7. Model Calm Confidence

Children mirror adult emotions. If you show calm, prepared energy, they are more likely to adopt the same outlook. Managing your own anticipatory anxiety sets the stage for your child’s success.

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When to Seek Professional Help

Anticipatory anxiety becomes a concern when it:

• Interferes with daily functioning

• Leads to repeated avoidance (e.g., school refusal)

• Causes ongoing physical complaints like headaches or stomach pain

• Lasts longer than two weeks without improvement

In these cases, therapy can help. At Resilient Mind Psychotherapy, we tailor treatment to each child’s needs. Approaches may include CBT adapted for kids, emotion coaching, play therapy, and parent sessions to strengthen at-home support. We also collaborate with schools when necessary, ensuring consistency across environments.

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Final Thoughts

Anticipatory anxiety may feel overwhelming in the moment, but it doesn’t have to control the future. By understanding the signs, practicing coping strategies, and seeking help when needed, both adults and children can learn to move through worry with greater resilience.

If your child is struggling with back-to-school anxiety or ongoing anticipatory worries, know that support is available. At Resilient Mind Psychotherapy, we offer both in-person therapy in Brooklyn and online sessions for families seeking flexibility. Together, we can help your child walk into new experiences feeling prepared, confident, and supported.

References

American Psychological Association. (2025, June). Anticipatory anxiety: When worry takes over before it even starts. Monitor on Psychology. https://www.apa.org/monitor/2025/06/anticipatory-anxiety

Harvard Health Publishing. (2018, August 23). Back-to-school anxiety. Harvard Medical School. https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/back-to-school-anxiety-2018082314617

Child Mind Institute. (n.d.). Back-to-school anxiety. https://childmind.org/article/back-school-anxiety/

Anxiety & Depression Association of America. (n.d.). 7 tips for addressing back-to-school anxiety. https://adaa.org/learn-from-us/from-the-experts/blog-posts/consumer/7-tips-addressing-back-school-anxiety